wealth

I grew up poor. 

More than once, I lived in a trailer.  My family's nicest home was a tract house in a low-income subdivision.  My dad was a trucker; my mom a motel maid. 

I remember getting a ride home from a very nice boy that I really, really liked and telling him not to drive down my driveway.  I didn't want him to see the bright blue trailer we lived in my senior year.  I told him I didn't want his car to get muddy.  He laughed, "So you should get muddy instead?"  It was a John Hughes moment and I was Molly Ringwald. 

I vowed to be more than that.  I'm not.  

So far.

I got the dreamer gene from my folks, but I have a strong reason to go beyond the dreaming stage - my daughter.  I didn't go to college after graduation because my parents told me not to get any loans.  They didn't have any money set aside for it and I didn't have enough to go to the great schools I could have, so I didn't.

She will.  I'll make sure of it. 

[Oh, and I'm going to live in Italy, too.  And write books.  And drink loads of red wine.  Expensive red wine.  Don't doubt me.]

chill

Right now I'm waiting alone in an empty house. Not my house - which is chaotic, small and messy - a house in which no one lives. A window repairman will be here soon and I have the key.

It's peaceful.  I've forgotten what complete quiet is like.  I miss it.  I don't mean quiet to be just about noise in this case.  Everything in this house is beige and there is no furniture.  There isn't even a scent in the air but the perfume I sprayed on this morning. All of my senses are taking a small break.

This is something I need to do from now on - find some time to shut down.  I worked on a revision until 2 am and, frankly, the paper still sucks.  I was supposed to have finished another by today, but got hung up staring at the other, willing my overactive brain to make a dry research paper come alive for the person who will be grading it. I doubt I achieved excellence.

I used to teach guided meditation.  I used to meditate almost daily.  I did yoga and stretched and took walks so that I could look at trees. 

What happened to me? 

Somehow I've become this hurried, worried, spacey blob of a human and I'm realizing I do this a lot.  I find some peace, simplify, then start worrying that I'm lazy, going nowhere, have no money or whatever and quickly throw myself into 15 different projects/roles and then get fried. 

This quiet, beige room is reminding me that I need to chill.

1%

Finished my marathon!!!! 

It was pretty impressive, too.  I was last.  Seriously.  Two days later my chiropractor managed to put my ankle/foot/something-in-that-region back where it was supposed to be. 

I did all 26.2 miles in seven hours.  Now I get to say I'm part of that 1% that finished a marathon AND I can mark that off of this Bulleted List.

Next up, flamenco...

new york times bestseller list

This is a MUST do.

I will be a published novelist, even if I'm older than Grandma Moses when it happens.  With any luck, I won't have to wait quite that long.

This has been a dream for as long as I can remember.  There are chapter books I wrote in fourth and fifth grade written on wheaty brown school paper locked in a box somewhere at my parents' house.  They'd be comical to read now, but I took writing seriously and did it every day - a habit I need to reestablish. 

There are 550 days until my fortieth birthday.  I vow to add to my working novel every one of those 550 days, even if it's sometimes just a sentence. 

 And there it is in writing, a vow to finish this novel before I turn forty.  Keep me on task, please.

reading

Change That - Teach Someone to Read

Thirteen years ago I lived in a tiny duplex close to the train depot here in Boise. My only neighbor was a single mother of a beautiful two-year-old girl.

One day, as I was hauling a load of groceries from my car, I noticed them sitting on their front stoop looking through a large picture book.

"Is your mommy reading a nice book to you?" I asked the toddler, who just smiled.

"Oh, I can't read," my neighbor said.

At first, I started to laugh. Then I realized she was dead serious. I promised to teach her, but she said,"It's okay - it's not important."

What?????

I tried to explain that reading was THE most important skill anyone could have, but she never took me up on my offer.

My daughter is a new reader and every word she points out to me is a gift. Words are magic. Words have taught me to cook, to replace a carburetor, to tie a necktie, to do my taxes. I remember the pride I felt when I was allowed to check out chapter books while the rest of the kids were only allowed little kid books. Words gave me a sense of self and made me special. Words have broken my heart and words have made me fall in love.

The only way to create a better existence is through education, whether you're teaching conservation or peace, and one of the best ways to reach others is through the written word. My life changed the day my father taught me to sound out words.  Listening to Rhiannon read brings me an infinite amount of joy.

If I were granted one wish to change the world, it would be global literacy.  I'm pretty sure the rest would work itself out if the world's people were able to read and understand.

marathon

This is one of the things on my list that is soon to be checked off - doing a marathon.  I've been training and raising money for the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society to honor my friend Sheldon Hentschke who recently passed away from cancer.  The longest I've gone is 18 miles - no turning back now.

I'll be crossing the finish line of the City of Trees Marathon on October 10th. 

influences

Spent some time with the folks Saturday.  I understand the parts of me that they shaped (the odd parts, the strange worries), but I am soooooooo very different in most ways.  This got me thinking on who or what made me the person I've become - the person who would make this particular bulleted list:

• Childhood friends & their families had a huge part in why I turned out even remotely "normal."  Even seeing what other people ate for dinner was a big deal.  I didn't know people ate spaghetti on a regular basis until the 5th or 6th grade...and I love spaghetti.  I'd never had an artichoke until Devanie's mom served one at dinner.
• The family who hired me to be their nanny could be considered the biggest influence of my life.  I worked for them for five or so years - mostly during the summers.  Because of the  Browns, I listened to NPR, got involved in political discussions, found out some people didn't watch television every day, saw that art could be a part of one's daily routine, listened to plenty of jazz (they once won 200 jazz c.d.'s from NPR), and learned to bake some pretty tasty bread.  I saw that people could play as hard as they worked and that it was important to let people know you loved them.  Gretta was always available to me.  She was so much more than an employer.  She loved and valued me.  I was half her age (and a teenager!), but she never talked down to me.  From her, I learned how to treat people.  I learned to truly listen to the meaning behind the words that come from others.  From Charlie, I learned that the way I spoke to others would create an impression, so I'd better think carefully and not lean on slang too much.  Chris & Merry loved me unconditionally, protected my feelings, and brought me joy in a way only my own child has since. I hope they know how important they all were to me...how important they still are.
• The teachers I had - good and bad - had their say in who I became.  At an early age, their opinions mattered so much.  I worked so hard for their praise and endured some nasty comments about being the "teacher's pet."  Some teachers taught me to be tough; some taught me that not all authority figures could be trusted.  
• Books and magazines have heavily played their part in the making of GiGi.  Words and images...from a young age these have been important to me.  I've had dozens of subscriptions and buy books on a regular basis - fiction, non-fiction, picture books, poetry, plays - my husband just looks the other way and rolls his eyes.  I dream of solid walls of books instead of paint colors.



The old Faust sign










• Working at Faust, when it was still open in the mid-90s here in Boise, helped me develop my tastes in music and design.  Mark had an amazing ear and eye.  His store was so much more than "home decor" - it was about the entire home environment.  The music we played was extraordinary.  It pulled me into a whole different world, and I probably still have every c.d. we ever sold there.  I would go in early, just to sit on the gorgeous furniture and listen to music before opening the doors to the public.  Being there taught me that the simplest things could be elegant and beautiful. 

There are many other people, places, things, and events that have helped me develop.  Don't be surprised if they pop up once in a while...